If your workplace receives a good review or award, you may feel like it’s all your doing. When you believe you control everything, you are assuming responsibility for both the pain and happiness of everyone around you. If a friend is in a bad mood ?, you may wonder what you did to make them feel that way. You either believe you can control everything or believe you can control nothing. And you’ll begin to accept that while you can’t control every situation, you can control how you think, feel, and behave.Today we’re going to talk about the control fallacy, another cognitive distortion. The Fallacy of Control is where you assume an inaccurate amount of control in a situation or in life. With practice, you can train your brain to think differently. So whether you remind yourself, “I’m stronger than I think,” or “I can handle this,” your affirmations can help drown out the negativity. Keeping a few positive healthy affirmations on hand can help combat negative thinking. Many of those thoughts incite feelings of self-doubt, fear, and discouragement. Scientists estimate people have about 70,000 thoughts per day. Drinking too much, binge watching TV, and complaining may offer temporary relief, but they’ll create more problems for you over the long-term. Whether you enjoy yoga or you want to spend time with friends, make time for those activities regardless of how busy you are.Īlso, be on the lookout for unhealthy coping skills. Schedule time to engage in healthy stress relievers. Exercising, eating healthy, participating in leisure activities and getting plenty of sleep are just a few key things you need to do to take care of yourself. Whether life is going well or you’re encountering tough times, stress management strategies are key to performing at your peak. Sign up here to get top career advice delivered straight to your inbox every week. Subscribe To The Forbes Careers Newsletter Get involved in an activity that will distract you for a few minutes and get your brain focused on something more productive. Acknowledge that your thoughts aren't helpful. If you're ruminating, however, change the channel in your brain. If you are seeking solutions, keep thinking about ways to prevent problems and increase your chances of success. So ask yourself whether you’re ruminating or problem-solving. Replaying yesterday’s conversations in your head and dwelling on catastrophic outcomes isn't helpful. Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving. Don't try to fix people who don't want to be fixed.Ĥ. When you have concerns about someone else's choices, share your opinion, but only share it once. So do your best and keep a good attitude. To have the most influence, however, you need to be in control of your behavior.
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And while you can’t force people to have fun at a party, you can create the best party atmosphere possible. So while you can’t make your child be a good student, you can give him the tools he needs to do his best.
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Acknowledging that you can handle the worst case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive places. Perhaps you’d struggle for a while, but there’s a good chance you’re mentally strong enough to bounce back. But quite often, people are so busying thinking, "This is going to be a disaster," that they don't take the time to ask themselves, "What would I do if the worst case scenario came true?" Usually, the worst case scenario isn't as horrible as you might imagine. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective.Īre you predicting a catastrophic outcome? Do you doubt your ability to cope with an undesirable outcome? Sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude.